meekia

Labels and life..

When you go to www.noisesingapore.com, and type in "Ng Khoon Chuan" in the "Search by Artist" section, you will find my selected-for-showcase artwork "Box Republic."

So...according to NoiseSingapore's panel of judges, and other criteria set down by the National Arts Council, "Ng Khoon Chuan" is a "Young Artist."

That is one label you can slap on me: Young Artist.

There are others.

When you turn on your TV set this sunday, and tune in to MediaCorp channel 8 at 9am, you will see me dancing around with children and communicating to the kids' audience at home.

Another label you can stick onto my face: Kids' TV showhost.

If you continue watching from 9.30am to 10am, you will catch a reality TV competition called "Little Entrepreneurs 2," a program that pits 10 - 12 year olds against each other as young capitalists.

When the credits come on, you will see my name under the "Producer" title.

Yup, another label: TV producer.

So far, so good? The labels don't look horrific.

Young Artist.
Kids' TV presenter.
TV producer.

hey, there are more!
Co-founder of a small sg-based web solutions start-up.
Copy editor and web-designer
Web-writer

Sounds like a very full and nice basket, no?

I have been very busy accumulating labels.
I have been so blindly, happily accumulating labels that I forgot some of the more important and meaningful ones.

I even grew NUMB to some of them:
Thoughtful Son. Warm Brother. Sensitive Friend. Caring lover....

How sad,
I allowed one Big Black label to cover them all: Arrogant, Egoistic, Bastard.

Yes, no one is perfect. But I was consciously wilful.

My family has been amazingly tolerant, my close friends have been kind.
But my girl, she has decided --- Enough is Enough!

She has decided to slam the door in my face, and leave me to understand the consequences of my nonsensical actions.

"Wake me up, when September Ends" --- I never thought this lyric would fit me so aptly. The series of events that took place between the end of Sept and the start of October, between my girlfriend and me, had me finally sobering up to the hurt I cause people with my emotionally brutish ways.

My colleague, a mother of three, perceptively summed it up for me:
"There is a child, an adolescent and an adult in all of us.
When we are in front of the ones we love most deeply, we become children.
And sometimes, children would do anything for attention."

Yes, and I became the horrible boy that kept bullying the sweet timid girl...for her attention. I hurt her deeply and now that i understand the pain I've caused, it is perhaps too late to feel regret, and make amends.

But life, if you live long enough, wisely enough, will always be, you realize, this loooooong mysterious puzzle that can only be unravelled by Time.

Yeap.

Time.

Only time can tell, if there are 2nd chances, redemption or re-births down the road. Or if there will even be a road.

Meanwhile, new labels will keep coming, because seasons change, and the florist in spring will become the swimmer in summer.

The urgent things, will constantly threaten to crowd out the important.

We will rush to meet deadlines, and forget many things.

But that's life, and human nature, and how they work. The important thing, is, I guess, to keep reminding yourself to have a humble gratitude for all that you receive.

We have to learn...
we have to move on... and hopefully, the canvasses we painted --- be they gothic, childish, childlike, painstaking or plain, will all look beautiful --- will all look beautiful in retrospect.

posted by audaciousjoy @ 12:26 PM