meekia

Semper Fidelis

On the day I made my debut as writer/director/producer for an actual full-30-minutes M channel 8 program, my faery good friend got attacked in a freak episode over in Melbourne.

It was a beautiful way to start her Friday. That is, if you define "beautiful" by Beetlejuice's dark zany sense of humor.

That's the way life always seems to be, isn't it? The good with the bad. The bad with the sad. The sad with the mad.


The faery good one (aka the pokemon hamster smile girl) had just suffered through a horrid Wednesday and Thursday and, Friday's random street assault was icing on the cake like flies on defecate.

Wed.
PSYCHOTIC FRIEND KILLS FAERY WITH RECKLESS DRIVING.
Well, that would've been the headline, if the faery good one had perished in that free ride she hitched from T-Wreck (who for entertainment's sake, we'll gladly call "PSYCHO" in this space).

While giving her a ride to school, PSYCHO asked the faery good one if she would attend his ex's wedding dinner with him.

The faery good one had accepted PSYCHO's earlier invitation to the wedding, assuming it would simply be about turning up at the ceremony ("where everyone sits quiet to watch and leaves after throwing rice at the bride on her way out.")

The faery good one didn't see the switch from "ceremony" to "dinner" coming. Or maybe she did, but was too soft and kind-hearted to reject PSYCHO outright without giving him a chance to kill her.

Anyway, the faery good one eventually decided it wouldn't be worth her time and effort to dress up and attend that wedding dinner with PSYCHO.

It would be a real waste of time; a real farce, because the Faery good one had two important opinions about PSYCHO's Ex.

1) She's a Bitch.
2) She's PSYCHO's Ex-Bitch.

SO, moving on with her sane decision to NOT attend the wedding dinner, the faery good one declines the dinner invitation while PSYCHO was still driving.

This faery, you see, had the powers to bring creative beauty into the world, but she couldn't predict that PSYCHO would suddenly go crazy after hearing her decision, and start on a reckless driving spree.

C'mon. The Lady Faery said "NO." So Back off!

NOOOOO~!!!! MUST DRIVE LIKE A PSYCHO TO PROVE I AM ANGRY MAN.

Ermz, you not angry man.
You stupid man.
Stupid man no girl like.

Divinity eventually intervened because too many faeries have been lost in New York, Iraq, Iran, Syria, Taiwan and North Korea. Some have gone into recluse in Akihabara but only the Otakus have the press credentials for that story.

PSYCHO, as mad as he was in his display of road rage, was probably a meek mouse who really couldn't afford to pay for repairs.

I say this because

1) It takes one Meek man to know another

2) When a big vehicle came along and blocked his way, what did PSYCHO do?

Did he

Proceed to floor the accelator and send the faery, himself and his car towards immediate destruction?

No

Like a whopped-ass chi-huahua, he chose to FLOOR THE BRAKE PEDAL instead, and then curse out loud at the faery good one.

The faery good one would've loved to stay in PSYCHO's car and engage him in conversation. But PSYCHO, unlike Meekia, has never read a single line of "Kafka on the Shore" before.

So the faery good one proceeded to do what was the next best, safest thing. OPEN THE DOOR AND RUN LIKE HELL.

The last time she ran as fast was when her mum forced her to go get boob implants. That's another great story, for another time. And I have press credentials for this one.

But for now, we'll go on to talk about what happened to her on...


THURSDAY!!
FAERY BECOMES SOCIAL ESCORT!

Not that there is anything disrespectable about selling mental, emotional and physical companionship for money. It's just that Faery Land's a conservative place and the faery good one simply had no desire to socially escort anyone who couldn't fly an F16 Fighter Jet.

[Meekia, on the other hand, would do it in a heartbeat at the right price. (Anarchists, Postmodernists and Third Wave Feminists, please smile dumbly at your screen in agreement.)]

On Thursday, a Dog asked the faery good one if an evening of watching people execute superHuman feats to French music would be lovely. Dog had tickets to SuperHumans-Under-the-Sun, a corporate event sponsored by the people who make you overpay for everything.

Superhumans Under the Sun! The faery good one was intrigued. For a moment, she thought Divinity had sent Dog along with this invitation to make up for the life-threatening mess that was Wednesday.

But her happy bright pink balloon was burst in a Lacoste heartbeat** when she heard Dog add,"There might be a gathering of people who make us overpay for everything, after the Under-the-Sun-Superhumans show. I'll like you to be my social escort."

[**Only people who have seen the Lacoste tvc for "A Touch of Pink" will get this]

The pumpkin carriage, and the stilettoes from New York 5th Avenue, vanished right before her eyes.

Woooooooe...... : (

Me want to be princess invited to ball.
Me no want to be ball.
bouncebounce in your hands for free Chicket.

"RUFF!! RUFF!! RRRRRRUUUGGGFFFF!!! GRRRRRR!!!"
Snarled Dog, making a big fuss about how his ticket to Under-the-Sun failed to magically turn into a *Chicket.

(*From the Meekia-Qoonster Dictionary that brought you Webibi (My web baby: An online project i dedicate a lot of love and effort to), Chicket --- A free ticket that helps u nail a great date with a chick. Meekia got hitched courtesy of chickets.)

The Faery good one already has a quiet dog named Spooteeny, and didn't need a noisy one in her house. So she said a big wormy "NO" to the lame Chicket situation, and went on with her life.

Little did she know LIFE as she knew it, nearly ended on....

FRIDAY!!
FAERY GETS ATTACKED WHILE VISITING VINTAGE STORE!!

There are homeless people in Melbourne.
There are crazy people in Melbourne.
There are people with heavy make-up in Melbourne.
Someone probably homeless, totally crazy, outrageously plastered with make-up, attacked the faery good one, early Friday morning.

The faery good one was minding her own business, heading down to a nearby vintage clothing store, when a mad woman assaulted her physically for no rhyme or reason.

The mad woman ran over and started hitting, shoving, and scratching her.

Personally, I would've loved for the faery good one to have kicked her ass like Uma did everyone's in "Dangerous Liaisons," oops, i mean, KILL BILL.

But she didn't kick any ass this time. She merely swung her brolly back in retaliation and missed.

In all good fortune however, she escaped eventually with her clean beautiful face unscathed.

Realising how lucky she was, she then sent an elf all the way over to Slick City. The elf was very distracted by the big durians he saw down by the river, but he managed to remember the message he was supposed to bring to The Greedy One, aka Meekia.
---------------------------------------------
The elf whispered in my ear,"The faery good one says, 'My luck must've really run out for the week. 2day, I got attacked by a stranger on the street. N it's not even midday yet!' ....end of message."

I knew the message was from the faery good one, because only the elves she sends are dressed in these cool vintage clothes with cool stitchings. It worried me to know she was attacked in broad-daylight on the streets. But since she could send the elf over, I figured she was, at least, still breathing and had two working fingers.

So I shifted my focus back onto the job at hand -- directing the ongoing shoot -- and hoped she would live to tell me she's really ok later that night.

And alive she was, that evening, as she described her survival.
Alive, but a little sad and shaken.

I wished I had a few more magic tricks up my sleeve.
Maybe another joke. Maybe a funny jab that would give every awful incident that came up a sweet strawberry twist.

but alas,
= Semper Fi =
was all I could muster.


"Always Faithful."

She asked me in exasperation, "ya, but stay faithful about WHAT???!!"

Well, stay faithful in the fact that the only sure thing you can bet on, is Impermanence. And because of that, good things will surely come around.

Maybe it's just Divinity's bizarre way of flushing out the faery good one's bad luck for the year early, instead of dividing it into small bits throughout the year, a cramp here, a pimple there, a cut here, a dropped dollar there.

So that when you return to Slick City in autumn, it'll all be swell.

Hey, faery good one,
You ask me how I keep up...
Well im not sure. The only thing i know is,
this one's meant to cheer you up.

= )

posted by audaciousjoy @ 1:54 AM